Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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