Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.

Fav 11 3885 1429
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You know, be my cock's hype man.

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(713): View more from Texas

This dude is being a total douche

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps

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(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

Fav 2 1129 1959
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Blow your rape whistle

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(609): View more from New Jersey

She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.

Fav 19 3508 1399
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.

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