Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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