We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
