please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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