Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
