If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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