Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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