I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
