the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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