Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
