i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
