Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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