On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
