i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
