Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
