all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
All the doctor said was why
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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