No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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