she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
