I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
