She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
