Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
