She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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