So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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