I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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