I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
