in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
