Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
