Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
