I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
