I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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