He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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