this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
