Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
