Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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