I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
