Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
