she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
