i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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