Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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