Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
