he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
