Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
