absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
