i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
