dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Send help, water and tortillas.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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