so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
