It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
