I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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