i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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